Guys, because it's Valentine's Day, I've prepared something really special for you. I hope you like it. Love is in the air!
For much of my life I attended a lot of church; evangelical ‘bible’ church, to be specific, which preached a literal interpretation of the bible. As you can imagine, this led to some backwards (and contradictory, if you cared to actually read) beliefs, but more interestingly, attracted some unsavory individuals.
One such individual was a brain-damaged (I think) man that the youth group pastor inexplicably put on staff. He had a history of violence, having hit another church member in the head with a hammer when they were both kids (this was common knowledge, since the victim was the sister of another kid in the youth group), and basically, he was creepy as fuck. He was very tall, and very large, bald; he used to drive a beat-up muscle car and skulk around the parking lot staring at girls. At some point he developed a crush on me and took to following me around the halls of the church. It seemed somewhat innocuous, because there were usually people around, but still.
Eventually I dropped out of youth group (a different story, for another day) and pretty much cut ties with everyone there, but one day, a year later, I ran into him. I can’t remember the circumstances, but apparently (as per the letter) I was with a couple of my guy friends. I do also remember him showing up at my high school, but whether that happened before or after the email, well, I have no idea.
The following is the email he sent to me – I just found the print-out of it in my parents’ attic, and retyped it. (I’m home helping them organize our old storage crap in preparation for their impending move to McLean.) Anyway, it’s really a masterpiece. Once I found it I knew I had to preserve it for posterity or whatever. I quote:
Subj: MEGAN,LISTEN CLOSELY AND FOLLOW CAREFULLY!!!
Date: 3/29/99 1:31:59 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: tiny@[redacted] (MS SWAN)
To: Nutmeg520@aol.Com
Megan,Megan,Megan.I will say ,Lst night,it was cool seeing U,Even though U didn’t say anything to me after I said HI. I understand,But just think back and remember what type of Guy I really am. 1 Remember the first day I met U, I talked to U and U were soooo nice,It was summer of 97 and U were about to become a sophomore in highschool. I thought I had met an awesome Gal and had just made a new friend,Anyways,2 The summer of 98,U were getting ready to go on a missions trip and when they asked for people to put hands on people,While praying for them,Who stepped up and realy cared for U.Me,and As my hand went on youre bare shoulder, You thought, WHAT’S going on and What is he going to do to me? [!!!] I was gentle to U,Never thought once about something bad happening to ya.ACCULLY ,For a slit second it soo quite I could hear your heart beating and tell and really tell what was going on in your head.U have been blessed 1000 times over,Wheather it’s inside or out.It’s time to live life more serious and grow up. God loves U [oh boy.]
Megan and he want’s U to step out on the lim.FEAR NOT,For he has ahold of U and he won’t let U fall.Have more faith and do what GOD wants U to do and not what MEGAN wants to do.I encourage U to put God 1st.And for those Guys you date,U can get better then that. I mean Christian guys at least [He’s all, ‘I mean, really. Have some class, please.’].
Now about last night,If your boyfriend or his INDIAN FREAK [I do believe he means Viranda!] has any problem with me,Or if they wanna talk trash or call me names, Tell them to say it in my face.MAN TO MAN.Especially that Indian freak .Tell him that, The next time he talks trash to me,I’ll come up to him like I did last night,When he least exspects me,And it won’t be a sight as pretty as U.MEGAN, U surly don’t want me to show up @ LANGLEY and embarris him infront of U or others, Do U? NO! Your saying to yourself in the back of your head. I know U to good megan. Well if this type of B.S. happens again,I promise I will show up when U or they least exspect me. I might even show up @ your house, SOOOOOOOO TELL then NOT to play with fire,Becauase I will burn like a MOTHER.Well hope U and your Family are doing well and I want U to know I’m still praying for U daily. Oh how’s MIA doing? [This part made me LOL – like, ‘I’m gonna eat your dog and fry it up with your cunt, you bitch! Oh, by the way, do you prefer sausage or pepperoni?’] Well hopefully next time U get a letter from me,I’ll be to for better reasons. YOURS TRULY,
MATT.
PS HOPE U ARE ABLE TO MAKE THE RIGHT DESITIONS [he really can't let this one go] 4 YOUR LIFE AND FOR MEGAN NEEDS AND NOT WHAT OTHERS WANT.PUT GOD 1ST IN EVERYTHING.I REALLY DO CARE MEGAN AND DON’T EVER FORGET THAT.
